Ringing Silence

I waited by the phone for you,
leaning against my door,
so blue...
I waited for you to be true
to me-
All I really wanted was the truth,
truthfully.
Instead the lies kept piling up,
uncut decks in this game
we call love.
You never wanted me, 
this I now see...
Distancing yourself even as I held on
to hopes and could-bes.
I tried so hard to be your all,
As you yanked the rug from beneath me
and watched me fall...
Time wasted...
who could've known this would've tasted
so bittersweet-
And as I struggle to get back to my feet;
to regain balance,
I realize this was a plethora
of one-sided challenge;
A dangerous tightrope walk-
one that would make even the 
most talented of all gymnasts balk.
I thought this thing was a two-sided game-
but you were the lone player,
and I'm left alone with my shame.
Your tongue spoke nothing but deceit and lies,
and I sit here sifting through leftover sorrow and goodbyes.
A delicate balance of blame, and of guilt...
I choke on the sorrow
that your fallacies built.
Never more lonely
than when I'm alone...
My spirit falls, humbly-
a queen dethroned.
Here, where your touch once intoxicated,
now lay scars that haven't yet faded.
I tried, and tried, to be all you needed,
and you left me here - unwanted and defeated.
I guess that's the way it is,
and these choices we make
are little more than risks
in a game of give-and-take.
I gave you my heart, and bared you my soul,
and now all that's left in their place
is a gaping hole.
One day, I hope you truly see
what you meant to me,
But for now, it's a goodbye you'll never hear
mixed bitterly
with the tears you never stayed around to see.