Look into the hearth
of the fire in my heart...
Watch as it ignites
and brightens up the dark
of the night that once lived there...
Fading to the air;
vanquishing the harsh glare
of shame-
once as familiar as my own name.
Draw the heat from the coals
of the embers that stir my soul,
and bask in the warmth
of deviation from the norm.
Breathing in the smoke
I can feel the essence
of your presence,
a soothing caress
to a heart that almost broke.
Reveling in the sensations
of pure adulation,
your touch is an escalation
of the raging inferno
that burns deep inside for no
other but you...
A flame that burns true,
and nothing else could compare
to the heat of the passion we share.
Burning through the shackles,
I'm mesmerized by the crackle
of the flaming blast that is you...
Speechless, but for the words
I
love
you.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Closed Mouth, Open Heart
He told me one day
that I say too much
of nothing,
that nothing I say
means too much
at all.
He once told me that I love too hard
but fight even harder.
He says he looks into my eyes
and sees nothing...
He hurts for all the wrong reasons,
for what I say means nothing
compared to what I do.
He told me that
he wants to love me
for everything I am...
but he can't possibly,
if he doesn't believe in what I have to say.
I closed my mouth
and I opened my heart;
Now he tells me
that I don't say enough.
Now he says
that he can't tell how much
I love him.
My love for him
reflects in everything I do,
but he can't see it
because his eyes are closed.
His ears are open far too wide,
hoping to hear it from me.
He told me that
my silence speaks pain...
My quiet speaks volumes;
I shouldn't have to say
what I feel,
if only he
opened his eyes and heart
to what is right in front of him.
He told me
that he loves me,
but my heart can't tell.
that I say too much
of nothing,
that nothing I say
means too much
at all.
He once told me that I love too hard
but fight even harder.
He says he looks into my eyes
and sees nothing...
He hurts for all the wrong reasons,
for what I say means nothing
compared to what I do.
He told me that
he wants to love me
for everything I am...
but he can't possibly,
if he doesn't believe in what I have to say.
I closed my mouth
and I opened my heart;
Now he tells me
that I don't say enough.
Now he says
that he can't tell how much
I love him.
My love for him
reflects in everything I do,
but he can't see it
because his eyes are closed.
His ears are open far too wide,
hoping to hear it from me.
He told me that
my silence speaks pain...
My quiet speaks volumes;
I shouldn't have to say
what I feel,
if only he
opened his eyes and heart
to what is right in front of him.
He told me
that he loves me,
but my heart can't tell.
Release
I'm tethered to my fears
like a ball on a string,
Grounded to the Earth
like an angel without wings...
Exposed to reality
like a peanut with no shell,
Like a spring with no water,
I'm just not feeling that well.
I'm bound to my dreams
like a robber is to theft,
like the remainder of my sanity,
they're all I have left.
I'm drawn to the rift
borne of a pain that never ceases;
Shattered like a priceless gift,
I'm left to pick up the pieces.
I've been pulled into this life
Like one to a frenzied dance,
and I'm caught in a trance
of my own circumstance.
I'm stuck to my faith
like paper to glue-
Like a detective to a lead,
it's my only clue...
Sometimes it's all that puts my mind at ease,
And it's also what allows the spirit's
Release.
like a ball on a string,
Grounded to the Earth
like an angel without wings...
Exposed to reality
like a peanut with no shell,
Like a spring with no water,
I'm just not feeling that well.
I'm bound to my dreams
like a robber is to theft,
like the remainder of my sanity,
they're all I have left.
I'm drawn to the rift
borne of a pain that never ceases;
Shattered like a priceless gift,
I'm left to pick up the pieces.
I've been pulled into this life
Like one to a frenzied dance,
and I'm caught in a trance
of my own circumstance.
I'm stuck to my faith
like paper to glue-
Like a detective to a lead,
it's my only clue...
Sometimes it's all that puts my mind at ease,
And it's also what allows the spirit's
Release.
Unanswered Questions
He asked her a question-
And she thought she had the answer...
Shame spread through her mind
like the metastasis of a cancer.
Blinking back tears,
choking hard on her retort,
like one would on the butt of a Newport.
Heart cracked, not quite broken,
as she caught the gist
of his words unspoken.
The sky burst open,
pouring rain,
but it wasn't enough
to wash away her pain.
Shaken and unable to move;
And unable to prove
that her love for him
was as it had always been.
And she thought she had the answer...
Shame spread through her mind
like the metastasis of a cancer.
Blinking back tears,
choking hard on her retort,
like one would on the butt of a Newport.
Heart cracked, not quite broken,
as she caught the gist
of his words unspoken.
The sky burst open,
pouring rain,
but it wasn't enough
to wash away her pain.
Shaken and unable to move;
And unable to prove
that her love for him
was as it had always been.
Blame
It's easier to lay it
than it is to take it...
And it's never laid evenly,
always in a jagged and unfocused pattern
of guilt and shame.
It's quite simple to pass-
but it's a much harder burden to bear;
For the acceptance of it
forces the confrontation
of bad judgments.
It's so natural
to shift fault
onto more amiable shoulders,
than it is to come clean
about our mistakes.
We should just tolerate it;
and try to be less altruistic
and become liable enough to take the
Blame.
than it is to take it...
And it's never laid evenly,
always in a jagged and unfocused pattern
of guilt and shame.
It's quite simple to pass-
but it's a much harder burden to bear;
For the acceptance of it
forces the confrontation
of bad judgments.
It's so natural
to shift fault
onto more amiable shoulders,
than it is to come clean
about our mistakes.
We should just tolerate it;
and try to be less altruistic
and become liable enough to take the
Blame.
Locked Out
Locked out yet again,
Always seeming
to be on the outside looking in...
I never seem to have the key,
even when it's right in front of me.
Trapped between a rock
and a hard place;
Failure seems to mock
my saving grace.
Trying my hardest to get in,
Still no success in the end.
Knocking on doors, crashing into walls,
Nothing steady to prevent my slips and falls.
I'm doing all I can
to save face,
But there's no helping hand,
no one to help quicken my pace.
So I have to do this all alone,
Figure it out step by step, all on my own.
And I put my soul under lock and key,
so that no understands me-but me.
I've tried endlessly to break the window,
but there's a secret to it that I don't yet know.
So here I stand,
stuck on the outside looking in,
with no consolation, and nary a friend.
Locked out, yet again...
Always seeming
to be on the outside looking in...
I never seem to have the key,
even when it's right in front of me.
Trapped between a rock
and a hard place;
Failure seems to mock
my saving grace.
Trying my hardest to get in,
Still no success in the end.
Knocking on doors, crashing into walls,
Nothing steady to prevent my slips and falls.
I'm doing all I can
to save face,
But there's no helping hand,
no one to help quicken my pace.
So I have to do this all alone,
Figure it out step by step, all on my own.
And I put my soul under lock and key,
so that no understands me-but me.
I've tried endlessly to break the window,
but there's a secret to it that I don't yet know.
So here I stand,
stuck on the outside looking in,
with no consolation, and nary a friend.
Locked out, yet again...
Love Bites
One day,
It will bite you,
stealthily as a mosquito in the night,
Leaving an itch that can't be scratched...
And an insatiable urge
to scratch it more and more...
It will creep up on you
like thirst in a lonely desert,
No matter how much you drink,
you just can't get enough...
Like a mirage
Borne of the shimmering beams
of desperation,
It shows you what's just beyond your reach.
It'll toss you, turn you,
like a treacherous sea at storm,
until, finally, you gain the peace you seek.
Like prey in the jaws of an alligator,
you'll never be free of it,
until you give in...
And even then,
There's no room for struggle,
No point in fighting,
For it's a battle worth losing.
It stings like hell,
But is wondrous all the same...
Once it sinks its teeth into you,
It never releases you.
Yeah, love bites.
It will bite you,
stealthily as a mosquito in the night,
Leaving an itch that can't be scratched...
And an insatiable urge
to scratch it more and more...
It will creep up on you
like thirst in a lonely desert,
No matter how much you drink,
you just can't get enough...
Like a mirage
Borne of the shimmering beams
of desperation,
It shows you what's just beyond your reach.
It'll toss you, turn you,
like a treacherous sea at storm,
until, finally, you gain the peace you seek.
Like prey in the jaws of an alligator,
you'll never be free of it,
until you give in...
And even then,
There's no room for struggle,
No point in fighting,
For it's a battle worth losing.
It stings like hell,
But is wondrous all the same...
Once it sinks its teeth into you,
It never releases you.
Yeah, love bites.
One Day
One day,
this pain will evaporate,
these tears will leave
and go somewhere far,
far beyond my eyes.
One day,
my sadness will cease,
And I'll smile again.
One day,
I'll look to the stars
not for wishes,
but with thanks for their presence.
One day,
I'll pick up the pieces
of what's left of my heart
and I'll start anew.
One day,
this transparent shield
of false bravado
will come down,
and me and my confidence will step lightly
into the world.
One day,
I'll let go of my past
and embrace my future.
One day, one night, and one dream of hope,
will release the fear
that I carry as a defense
instead of a burden.
One day it will all come together [perfectly],
But that day is not today.
this pain will evaporate,
these tears will leave
and go somewhere far,
far beyond my eyes.
One day,
my sadness will cease,
And I'll smile again.
One day,
I'll look to the stars
not for wishes,
but with thanks for their presence.
One day,
I'll pick up the pieces
of what's left of my heart
and I'll start anew.
One day,
this transparent shield
of false bravado
will come down,
and me and my confidence will step lightly
into the world.
One day,
I'll let go of my past
and embrace my future.
One day, one night, and one dream of hope,
will release the fear
that I carry as a defense
instead of a burden.
One day it will all come together [perfectly],
But that day is not today.
Delicate Orchid
Crushed-
Like the delicate petals
of an orchid
after Spring's first rain;
helpless and deadened,
pelted by heavy drops of anguish.
The essence of the soul washed away,
the pain of the realization that
beauty has been stolen
devours the spirit.
Soft velvet turned to burnished steel,
and there's only
the lifeless shell,
limp and dripping,
that bears the evidence of what once was.
Unable to fight,
shame burns like fire in the belly
of an angry beast.
The rain soon ebbs away,
and the broken remains are found...
Nurtured and soothed back to life;
until, once again,
its fragile spirit is restored-
And the delicate flower
that is my soul
stands strong
as it sways gently
with the summer breeze.
Like the delicate petals
of an orchid
after Spring's first rain;
helpless and deadened,
pelted by heavy drops of anguish.
The essence of the soul washed away,
the pain of the realization that
beauty has been stolen
devours the spirit.
Soft velvet turned to burnished steel,
and there's only
the lifeless shell,
limp and dripping,
that bears the evidence of what once was.
Unable to fight,
shame burns like fire in the belly
of an angry beast.
The rain soon ebbs away,
and the broken remains are found...
Nurtured and soothed back to life;
until, once again,
its fragile spirit is restored-
And the delicate flower
that is my soul
stands strong
as it sways gently
with the summer breeze.
Escape to Simplicity
I just want to return to the basics,
and enjoy the beautiful simplicity of life...
I want to just go somewhere far,
a remote, undisclosed location,
where I can commune with my inner harmonies
and draw my peace from within...
Somewhere where my spirit
runs as clear
as untapped water,
where the night sky is my blanket,
and soft earth my pillow.
Someplace where the moon and stars are my
only nightlight,
and the sound of wind
and burbling streams
are the only music.
I just want to escape to
a place where time has no meaning,
and doesn't even exist.
I want to be in a place
where silence is all the noise I hear,
where relaxation comes as naturally
as stress.
Yet, alas, there is no such place;
but, oh, what a beautiful time I've had
just imagining it!
and enjoy the beautiful simplicity of life...
I want to just go somewhere far,
a remote, undisclosed location,
where I can commune with my inner harmonies
and draw my peace from within...
Somewhere where my spirit
runs as clear
as untapped water,
where the night sky is my blanket,
and soft earth my pillow.
Someplace where the moon and stars are my
only nightlight,
and the sound of wind
and burbling streams
are the only music.
I just want to escape to
a place where time has no meaning,
and doesn't even exist.
I want to be in a place
where silence is all the noise I hear,
where relaxation comes as naturally
as stress.
Yet, alas, there is no such place;
but, oh, what a beautiful time I've had
just imagining it!
Life, Unscripted
This is not,
nor has it ever been,
a means of escape-
for you can't escape reality.
This is not a way to avoid truth,
there is no avoidance of the obvious;
only denial.
This cannot be a coping mechanism,
for in order to cope there must be a purpose.
This has nothing to do with fear,
with fear involved, it is impossible to move forward.
This is hardly a way to deal,
for this is not a game of cards.
It's something much more profound,
something much more benevolent.
No.
What this is,
is something much greater-
It's the will to survive,
the desire to succeed,
the power to change circumstances
far beyond the scope of our control.
This
is
Life, Unscripted.
nor has it ever been,
a means of escape-
for you can't escape reality.
This is not a way to avoid truth,
there is no avoidance of the obvious;
only denial.
This cannot be a coping mechanism,
for in order to cope there must be a purpose.
This has nothing to do with fear,
with fear involved, it is impossible to move forward.
This is hardly a way to deal,
for this is not a game of cards.
It's something much more profound,
something much more benevolent.
No.
What this is,
is something much greater-
It's the will to survive,
the desire to succeed,
the power to change circumstances
far beyond the scope of our control.
This
is
Life, Unscripted.
Daydreams in F Minor
I'm constantly dreaming of you,
yet my eyes haven't ever closed...
Flying high-
but my feet remain on the ground.
The world seems to have stopped;
Somehow I'm still in motion.
My words go unrefuted, and there's no contest,
even though there was never any argument.
My nights are sleepless, the days endless-
Although I've hardly missed a wink...
Every single harmonious strain reminds me of you,
but there's no music playing.
I'm captivated as you divulge every detail,
but no one's here, and there's nothing to listen to.
I could stare into your eyes
forever, maybe longer,
But they're blind to me;
And oblivious to my existence.
I think of you for hours on end,
Though it's only been minutes
And the cold, cruel reality of it all
hit me long time ago...
yet my eyes haven't ever closed...
Flying high-
but my feet remain on the ground.
The world seems to have stopped;
Somehow I'm still in motion.
My words go unrefuted, and there's no contest,
even though there was never any argument.
My nights are sleepless, the days endless-
Although I've hardly missed a wink...
Every single harmonious strain reminds me of you,
but there's no music playing.
I'm captivated as you divulge every detail,
but no one's here, and there's nothing to listen to.
I could stare into your eyes
forever, maybe longer,
But they're blind to me;
And oblivious to my existence.
I think of you for hours on end,
Though it's only been minutes
And the cold, cruel reality of it all
hit me long time ago...
Woman
She is strong,
fiercely independent with a determination
that can only be placed in a class all its own.
She is nurturing,
with a fiery personality
and a constant burning need to prove everyone wrong.
She is caring,
and holds a deep and abiding love
for those lucky enough to get close to her.
She is beautiful,
inside and out;
her flaws add a certain gleam
to her multi-faceted personality.
She is tough and hard-shelled,
but she's also kind in nature and soft-hearted;
It takes a special person to delve deeper to explore her softer side.
She's not always taken seriously,
but she's often taken for granted;
And takes everything in stride
even if it is not benevolent to her cause.
She pushes hard to succeed,
to make her place in this world...
Sometimes failure bruises her ego,
but it never stops her, it only drives her forward.
She has big dreams, and even bigger aspirations...
Easily inspired,
She continually strives to create a better way.
She doesn't fear much of anything,
In fact, fear's afraid of her fearless nature.
She's often cautious about speaking her mind,
yet never afraid to do so.
She does what's necessary,
and she does it well,
even if it means putting her happiness aside.
She'll give you everything,
yet ask nothing in return...
She's volatile when crossed,
but still has a forgiving spirit.
She smiles outwardly,
even if she cries inwardly.
She does it all,
without really having to do a thing...
Her hands roughened from hard work,
and still her touch is silky smooth.
She's sure of herself, with an unshakable confidence...
She knows what she's capable of,
what she wants, and how she wants it.
She gets it done,
not only because she HAS to,
but because it NEEDS doing.
She always tries,
even if her attempts speak failure;
And she never lets anyone tell her
what she can't do.
She's different and normal all at once;
She's sees things for what they could become,
rather than for what they are.
She's her own person, a truly unique individual,
She
is
Woman.
fiercely independent with a determination
that can only be placed in a class all its own.
She is nurturing,
with a fiery personality
and a constant burning need to prove everyone wrong.
She is caring,
and holds a deep and abiding love
for those lucky enough to get close to her.
She is beautiful,
inside and out;
her flaws add a certain gleam
to her multi-faceted personality.
She is tough and hard-shelled,
but she's also kind in nature and soft-hearted;
It takes a special person to delve deeper to explore her softer side.
She's not always taken seriously,
but she's often taken for granted;
And takes everything in stride
even if it is not benevolent to her cause.
She pushes hard to succeed,
to make her place in this world...
Sometimes failure bruises her ego,
but it never stops her, it only drives her forward.
She has big dreams, and even bigger aspirations...
Easily inspired,
She continually strives to create a better way.
She doesn't fear much of anything,
In fact, fear's afraid of her fearless nature.
She's often cautious about speaking her mind,
yet never afraid to do so.
She does what's necessary,
and she does it well,
even if it means putting her happiness aside.
She'll give you everything,
yet ask nothing in return...
She's volatile when crossed,
but still has a forgiving spirit.
She smiles outwardly,
even if she cries inwardly.
She does it all,
without really having to do a thing...
Her hands roughened from hard work,
and still her touch is silky smooth.
She's sure of herself, with an unshakable confidence...
She knows what she's capable of,
what she wants, and how she wants it.
She gets it done,
not only because she HAS to,
but because it NEEDS doing.
She always tries,
even if her attempts speak failure;
And she never lets anyone tell her
what she can't do.
She's different and normal all at once;
She's sees things for what they could become,
rather than for what they are.
She's her own person, a truly unique individual,
She
is
Woman.
People Watching
Now, there's a woman who holds her head high,
with a heart full of pride and dreams big as the sky.
Look here at this man, he has a kind heart-
you can see it in his eyes, right from the start.
Though he might cause hurt feelings in his business dealings...
Business is business; He's harsh because he has to be,
but he does great deeds that set him free.
See that guy? He's no slacker-
There's something there beneath the rough demeanor
and hair lacquer...
He's unsure of what he wants,
and therefore endures the taunts
of his peers;
He takes a quick gulp of shame to wash down his fears.
How sweet! Look at that gorgeous little boy
as he plays with his favorite toy-
but did anyone notice that tear on his cheek?
He cries because he is unable to speak-
For children are to be seen and not heard,
so he stares through the trees toward a lonely little bird.
Look at that girl-
her pretty face, and all that long hair,
walking along like she has not a care.
But she hates being objectified for her looks,
and mocked by her friends
because she keeps her nose to the books.
Look at her, too, with her music in her ears;
She tunes out the world and dances away her tears.
But no one knows how she's been hurt...
won't take the time to learn;
and wrongly assume that she's impassive and curt.
So she dances away, to tune after tune,
Hoping the healing will start very soon.
Check out that man with the pen and notepad,
writing off his emotions so that they don't drive him mad.
You see, he's quite afraid to show how he feels,
his pen and notepad help him to stay real.
Oh, how I envy that child, playing way over there,
skipping happily through life without a care.
But he does care, more than these adults could know,
He's been watching this world, and there's no room to grow.
A young mother sighs, as her new baby cries-
There's no mistaking the exhaustion in her eyes.
For her child, he won't sleep, he just cries all night;
Exposed early to the cruelties of this world, and unable to fight.
There's a girl on a bench there,
She watches people pass,
trying to guess their stories, she sits for hours...
Thinking, and watching, and waiting to see
if anyone else knows how miserable this life can be.
with a heart full of pride and dreams big as the sky.
Look here at this man, he has a kind heart-
you can see it in his eyes, right from the start.
Though he might cause hurt feelings in his business dealings...
Business is business; He's harsh because he has to be,
but he does great deeds that set him free.
See that guy? He's no slacker-
There's something there beneath the rough demeanor
and hair lacquer...
He's unsure of what he wants,
and therefore endures the taunts
of his peers;
He takes a quick gulp of shame to wash down his fears.
How sweet! Look at that gorgeous little boy
as he plays with his favorite toy-
but did anyone notice that tear on his cheek?
He cries because he is unable to speak-
For children are to be seen and not heard,
so he stares through the trees toward a lonely little bird.
Look at that girl-
her pretty face, and all that long hair,
walking along like she has not a care.
But she hates being objectified for her looks,
and mocked by her friends
because she keeps her nose to the books.
Look at her, too, with her music in her ears;
She tunes out the world and dances away her tears.
But no one knows how she's been hurt...
won't take the time to learn;
and wrongly assume that she's impassive and curt.
So she dances away, to tune after tune,
Hoping the healing will start very soon.
Check out that man with the pen and notepad,
writing off his emotions so that they don't drive him mad.
You see, he's quite afraid to show how he feels,
his pen and notepad help him to stay real.
Oh, how I envy that child, playing way over there,
skipping happily through life without a care.
But he does care, more than these adults could know,
He's been watching this world, and there's no room to grow.
A young mother sighs, as her new baby cries-
There's no mistaking the exhaustion in her eyes.
For her child, he won't sleep, he just cries all night;
Exposed early to the cruelties of this world, and unable to fight.
There's a girl on a bench there,
She watches people pass,
trying to guess their stories, she sits for hours...
Thinking, and watching, and waiting to see
if anyone else knows how miserable this life can be.
Alternate Reality
I know it's hard to love
in a world so full of hatred...
I understand that it's difficult to trust others
when most of us are still trying to remove the knife
driven into our backs
by the hands of oppression.
I know it's hard to remain optimistic
when surrounded by negativity;
And I'm aware that it's wearisome trying to be nice-
when so many try to keep us down.
It's so hard to smile
when our hearts are crying...
And trying to be gentle is almost impossible
because this life is rough.
We all strive to be giving-and forgiving,
but there are still too many of a selfish nature
who don't understand.
Everyone wants to be a hero;
It's hardly feasible when we're all trying to save ourselves.
I understand the need to better oneself-
but how is that possible when things
always seem to take a turn for the worse?
There are always more questions
than there are answers,
And many would rather
make it through each day without
knowing what the next one will bring-
Because the truth hurts more than blissful oblivion.
There is too much darkness, and too many people
are blind to the light,
and most of us find ourselves lost,
living in an alternate reality
to escape the pain.
in a world so full of hatred...
I understand that it's difficult to trust others
when most of us are still trying to remove the knife
driven into our backs
by the hands of oppression.
I know it's hard to remain optimistic
when surrounded by negativity;
And I'm aware that it's wearisome trying to be nice-
when so many try to keep us down.
It's so hard to smile
when our hearts are crying...
And trying to be gentle is almost impossible
because this life is rough.
We all strive to be giving-and forgiving,
but there are still too many of a selfish nature
who don't understand.
Everyone wants to be a hero;
It's hardly feasible when we're all trying to save ourselves.
I understand the need to better oneself-
but how is that possible when things
always seem to take a turn for the worse?
There are always more questions
than there are answers,
And many would rather
make it through each day without
knowing what the next one will bring-
Because the truth hurts more than blissful oblivion.
There is too much darkness, and too many people
are blind to the light,
and most of us find ourselves lost,
living in an alternate reality
to escape the pain.
Again and Again
I love that you don't speak
that eloquently-
But you speak in a way
that helps others to see
the truth that they've always
been trying to hide-
the pain that they push deep down inside.
I love that there is no pretense
about you,
You have this magnetism
that pulls others to
your spirit, your mind, your character
and grace...
You don't have to say a thing,
Because you have an honest face.
I love that you hold no qualms
about your past...
You seem to let it go-
as though doing so
could help your future last.
I love that you're not like
most others I know;
You swim against the current
instead of going with the flow.
I love that you appreciate me
for who I am...
Especially my flaws; I have many,
yet you don't give a damn.
I love how you can see
who I've always been,
No matter how much I've changed,
and even after doubt has set in.
I love that you always
see things through to the end...
Which is why I'll continue to fall in love with you
Again & again
that eloquently-
But you speak in a way
that helps others to see
the truth that they've always
been trying to hide-
the pain that they push deep down inside.
I love that there is no pretense
about you,
You have this magnetism
that pulls others to
your spirit, your mind, your character
and grace...
You don't have to say a thing,
Because you have an honest face.
I love that you hold no qualms
about your past...
You seem to let it go-
as though doing so
could help your future last.
I love that you're not like
most others I know;
You swim against the current
instead of going with the flow.
I love that you appreciate me
for who I am...
Especially my flaws; I have many,
yet you don't give a damn.
I love how you can see
who I've always been,
No matter how much I've changed,
and even after doubt has set in.
I love that you always
see things through to the end...
Which is why I'll continue to fall in love with you
Again & again
Vertigo of Love
Illiterate in love,
unable to read between the lines
of words unspoken,
of thoughts unwritten...
Dyslexic in emotion,
the inability to divert the correct feelings
to the situation of miscommunication
causes undue pain and unfortunate misunderstandings.
Perplexed by touch,
every sensation
becomes an insurmountable mass
of synapses and pulses
that pound out a rhythm heard only by the soul...
Unsteady from the onslaught
of impassioned speech,
Love's vertigo threatens to shake the equilibrium
so scrupulously cultivated by the heart.
Fatigued of fighting
the torrents of thought, emotion, and feeling...
And, weary of just drifting on the currents;
There comes a moment of peaceful and resolute defeat-
Where the determination to stop resisting
engulfs the spirit-
And causes the disquieting plunge into
the uncertain depths
of love.
unable to read between the lines
of words unspoken,
of thoughts unwritten...
Dyslexic in emotion,
the inability to divert the correct feelings
to the situation of miscommunication
causes undue pain and unfortunate misunderstandings.
Perplexed by touch,
every sensation
becomes an insurmountable mass
of synapses and pulses
that pound out a rhythm heard only by the soul...
Unsteady from the onslaught
of impassioned speech,
Love's vertigo threatens to shake the equilibrium
so scrupulously cultivated by the heart.
Fatigued of fighting
the torrents of thought, emotion, and feeling...
And, weary of just drifting on the currents;
There comes a moment of peaceful and resolute defeat-
Where the determination to stop resisting
engulfs the spirit-
And causes the disquieting plunge into
the uncertain depths
of love.
Sweet Nothings and Lost Causes
If you can't cry for you,
then please don't smile for me...
If you're not living for yourself,
then how could you die for me?
If you're unable to share,
then it's impossible for you to care
for me...
You couldn't possibly be honest with me
when you're lying to yourself;
How can you be mindful of my needs,
when you hardly ever say what's on your mind?
If your heart's never in the right place,
then how do I place first in your life?
Don't tell me that I'm who you need
when you don't even know what you want...
And please don't play games with me
when you're already a lost cause.
How can you say that I'm the substance of dreams,
when you've been living a nightmare?
I couldn't possibly be all you've got,
you don't even know what you have.
Don't welcome me into your life, when
you don't give thanks
for what you've been given.
You say you don't want to lose me;
But you can't lose
if you were never playing for keeps...
then please don't smile for me...
If you're not living for yourself,
then how could you die for me?
If you're unable to share,
then it's impossible for you to care
for me...
You couldn't possibly be honest with me
when you're lying to yourself;
How can you be mindful of my needs,
when you hardly ever say what's on your mind?
If your heart's never in the right place,
then how do I place first in your life?
Don't tell me that I'm who you need
when you don't even know what you want...
And please don't play games with me
when you're already a lost cause.
How can you say that I'm the substance of dreams,
when you've been living a nightmare?
I couldn't possibly be all you've got,
you don't even know what you have.
Don't welcome me into your life, when
you don't give thanks
for what you've been given.
You say you don't want to lose me;
But you can't lose
if you were never playing for keeps...
Dreaming Out Loud
I can't be
what everyone else
wants me to be,
can't see
what some want me to see...
I can't do
what most want me to do,
and I can't stop doing what I want
because of you...
I'm just myself,
and that's all I can be,
I do what I want to do,
and see
only what my eyes allow me to.
Therefore, I'm not following the crowd,
I'm merely and simply
dreaming out loud...
what everyone else
wants me to be,
can't see
what some want me to see...
I can't do
what most want me to do,
and I can't stop doing what I want
because of you...
I'm just myself,
and that's all I can be,
I do what I want to do,
and see
only what my eyes allow me to.
Therefore, I'm not following the crowd,
I'm merely and simply
dreaming out loud...
This Thing Called Love
There's this thing
called love-
It has many faces, invokes many reactions...
Some know it as a sentiment, an emotion;
some consider it a feeling.
And few even think of it as nothing more than a notion.
But it's more than that...
Love is not just
an emotion, a sentimental feeling.
It's a perpetual presence-
an extension of the heart;
one that engulfs the soul
and placates the mind.
It's what some pray for
in the silent hours of the night...
It's what others will spend their whole life waiting for.
It's an anomaly that conquers
but cannot be conquered.
It's a breathtaking force,
a powerful entity.
It's power encompasses all doubts, fears, and inhibitions.
Those who know its astounding glory
know that it is a treasure,
one that nothing earthly
could ever replace.
There's this thing called love-
Ever-present, ever-beautiful,
Ever ours.
called love-
It has many faces, invokes many reactions...
Some know it as a sentiment, an emotion;
some consider it a feeling.
And few even think of it as nothing more than a notion.
But it's more than that...
Love is not just
an emotion, a sentimental feeling.
It's a perpetual presence-
an extension of the heart;
one that engulfs the soul
and placates the mind.
It's what some pray for
in the silent hours of the night...
It's what others will spend their whole life waiting for.
It's an anomaly that conquers
but cannot be conquered.
It's a breathtaking force,
a powerful entity.
It's power encompasses all doubts, fears, and inhibitions.
Those who know its astounding glory
know that it is a treasure,
one that nothing earthly
could ever replace.
There's this thing called love-
Ever-present, ever-beautiful,
Ever ours.
Ode to Motherhood
Mom,
Please don't yell at me.
When I say that
I don't know,
it doesn't mean that I really don't know,
it just means that I don't know how
to express what I'm feeling.
Mommy,
please don't be angry with me.
When I do certain things,
I'm not doing them just to defy your wishes;
I do them because I'm curious
and I'll never learn from my mistakes
if I don't make them.
Mama,
please don't threaten me.
I know very well the consequences of my actions;
But sometimes, I just need to know
that these consequences exist.
Ma,
please have patience with me.
I am but a mere child,
and I'm growing every day.
I may not always do what pleases you;
But, thanks to you, I do know the differences
between right and wrong.
Mother,
please don't turn away from me;
I need you now more than ever,
for my mind is at its peak,
and I'm still sorting through my emotions.
Mommy,
please don't misunderstand me.
When I tell you I love you,
it means that I love you-
unconditionally and completely,
because I can't yet comprehend
that even you have flaws.
So, Mama,
Please always believe me
when I tell you
that I love you.
Please don't yell at me.
When I say that
I don't know,
it doesn't mean that I really don't know,
it just means that I don't know how
to express what I'm feeling.
Mommy,
please don't be angry with me.
When I do certain things,
I'm not doing them just to defy your wishes;
I do them because I'm curious
and I'll never learn from my mistakes
if I don't make them.
Mama,
please don't threaten me.
I know very well the consequences of my actions;
But sometimes, I just need to know
that these consequences exist.
Ma,
please have patience with me.
I am but a mere child,
and I'm growing every day.
I may not always do what pleases you;
But, thanks to you, I do know the differences
between right and wrong.
Mother,
please don't turn away from me;
I need you now more than ever,
for my mind is at its peak,
and I'm still sorting through my emotions.
Mommy,
please don't misunderstand me.
When I tell you I love you,
it means that I love you-
unconditionally and completely,
because I can't yet comprehend
that even you have flaws.
So, Mama,
Please always believe me
when I tell you
that I love you.
Changes
I'm tired
of feeling unispired;
of waking to the same four walls,
and receiving the same old calls...
Day in, and day out-
this isn't what life's about.
Everything bad happens all at once,
and silence is my only response.
Unsure of which direction to move,
or what I'm even trying to prove-
My life has taken a pit stop...
but there's no quick pop-
no quick changes
only increasing strangeness.
Time is moving much too slow,
out of rhythm with life's simple ebb and flow.
I'm trying desperately to remain grounded and strong,
But I'm not sure what for, or for how long...
of feeling unispired;
of waking to the same four walls,
and receiving the same old calls...
Day in, and day out-
this isn't what life's about.
Everything bad happens all at once,
and silence is my only response.
Unsure of which direction to move,
or what I'm even trying to prove-
My life has taken a pit stop...
but there's no quick pop-
no quick changes
only increasing strangeness.
Time is moving much too slow,
out of rhythm with life's simple ebb and flow.
I'm trying desperately to remain grounded and strong,
But I'm not sure what for, or for how long...
In These Arms
In these arms,
there is a sense of homecoming...
a tranquil serenity
that is borne solely of
love itself.
In these arms,
the emotion is tangible,
the intensity is palpable.
In these arms,
many tears have been shed...
In these arms,
there is a raw and powerful attraction
heightened only by your touch.
In these arms,
life is seen anew
in a definitive aura
as that of childhood's innocence.
There is a certain awe
that stirs the senses
when I'm in these arms.
In these arms,
the heart beats in tune with
the security that
there will never again be lonely moments.
Vital discoveries of self have been made
in these arms.
I've tried running from them,
pushing them away,
and turning my back to them.
But nowhere else have I felt so safe,
so warm, and so beautiful...
And there's nowhere else I'd rather be-
than in your loving arms.
there is a sense of homecoming...
a tranquil serenity
that is borne solely of
love itself.
In these arms,
the emotion is tangible,
the intensity is palpable.
In these arms,
many tears have been shed...
In these arms,
there is a raw and powerful attraction
heightened only by your touch.
In these arms,
life is seen anew
in a definitive aura
as that of childhood's innocence.
There is a certain awe
that stirs the senses
when I'm in these arms.
In these arms,
the heart beats in tune with
the security that
there will never again be lonely moments.
Vital discoveries of self have been made
in these arms.
I've tried running from them,
pushing them away,
and turning my back to them.
But nowhere else have I felt so safe,
so warm, and so beautiful...
And there's nowhere else I'd rather be-
than in your loving arms.
What If? (Waiting to Exist)
What if I'd never been born?
What if I'd never taken my first breath,
never poured out my lungs and screamed
for the first time?
Would the world have ever missed me, if I
was never here?
Would my mother and father ever have longed for me,
in their heart of hearts, the deepest wells of their soul?
What if they'd never fallen in love with each other?
What if they'd never crossed paths,
never taken the time out for love-
Would I even exist?
What if, in some nonparallel universe,
time hadn't stood still long enough
to weave the wonderful ribbons of love...
to intertwine those ribbons in the lives of two specific people?
If I'd never made it to fruition,
Would there have ever been a time, a place,
where I could have?
What if I never knew love?
Would I be the person I am now?
Would I be where I am now?
Or would I be lost,
lonely?
Would I know the people that I know?
Would I feel the things I feel?
Would I even have ever come this far in my life?
Would I still have the zeal, the zest, for life
that keeps me motivated?
What if no one had ever encouraged me?
Would I still feel as though
I could take the world by storm?
Would one small, seemingly insignificant person
make that much of a difference
if no one ever knew them?
What if my "what ifs" became a way of thinking, a way of life?
What happens when those "what ifs" turn to "Why?"
Who would have the answers?
Life is too short for what if,
for could've beens and possible outcomes.
Life is too precious to question
our existence, our purpose.
So instead of wondering, "What if?"
I will look forward, and face my future.
Instead of dreaming of nonexistent pasts,
and longing for different presents
under the tree that is life,
I will write my own presence,
create my own future.
But these questions will always remain:
Have I truly left my imprint, made my mark?
Have I really touched anyone, in such a way that
would spark their curiosity as to wonder
what could have been,
had I never
drawn a single breath on this Earth?
What if I'd never taken my first breath,
never poured out my lungs and screamed
for the first time?
Would the world have ever missed me, if I
was never here?
Would my mother and father ever have longed for me,
in their heart of hearts, the deepest wells of their soul?
What if they'd never fallen in love with each other?
What if they'd never crossed paths,
never taken the time out for love-
Would I even exist?
What if, in some nonparallel universe,
time hadn't stood still long enough
to weave the wonderful ribbons of love...
to intertwine those ribbons in the lives of two specific people?
If I'd never made it to fruition,
Would there have ever been a time, a place,
where I could have?
What if I never knew love?
Would I be the person I am now?
Would I be where I am now?
Or would I be lost,
lonely?
Would I know the people that I know?
Would I feel the things I feel?
Would I even have ever come this far in my life?
Would I still have the zeal, the zest, for life
that keeps me motivated?
What if no one had ever encouraged me?
Would I still feel as though
I could take the world by storm?
Would one small, seemingly insignificant person
make that much of a difference
if no one ever knew them?
What if my "what ifs" became a way of thinking, a way of life?
What happens when those "what ifs" turn to "Why?"
Who would have the answers?
Life is too short for what if,
for could've beens and possible outcomes.
Life is too precious to question
our existence, our purpose.
So instead of wondering, "What if?"
I will look forward, and face my future.
Instead of dreaming of nonexistent pasts,
and longing for different presents
under the tree that is life,
I will write my own presence,
create my own future.
But these questions will always remain:
Have I truly left my imprint, made my mark?
Have I really touched anyone, in such a way that
would spark their curiosity as to wonder
what could have been,
had I never
drawn a single breath on this Earth?
Control
You don't want me to do anything, it seems,
and you're constantly and viciously blocking the path to my dreams.
Isolate me from all that I know,
and when it's mentioned you tell me to just go.
But I highly doubt it'd be that easy,
as you're always reminding me of the ones who "need" me.
You'd never say that person is just you, it's almost like a rule,
and you don't even realize it when you're being cruel.
You look at me like I'm something you scraped off your shoe,
you seem to get a kick out of telling me what to do.
You have this way of putting me down,
but you make it no harder for me to stand my ground.
Trying your hardest to break me,
you have no idea that your actions hardly shake me.
You constantly judge, yell and berate-
but all you're doing is forcing our love to abate.
You never, ever admit when you're wrong,
it's as if being right makes you all the more strong.
I gave you my life, my love, and my heart,
and all you're doing is tearing them apart.
I gave you my world, my everything, pure and true-
and everything you do is ripping it in two.
Chipping away at my very soul...
But enough is enough, I won't allow you that
Control.
and you're constantly and viciously blocking the path to my dreams.
Isolate me from all that I know,
and when it's mentioned you tell me to just go.
But I highly doubt it'd be that easy,
as you're always reminding me of the ones who "need" me.
You'd never say that person is just you, it's almost like a rule,
and you don't even realize it when you're being cruel.
You look at me like I'm something you scraped off your shoe,
you seem to get a kick out of telling me what to do.
You have this way of putting me down,
but you make it no harder for me to stand my ground.
Trying your hardest to break me,
you have no idea that your actions hardly shake me.
You constantly judge, yell and berate-
but all you're doing is forcing our love to abate.
You never, ever admit when you're wrong,
it's as if being right makes you all the more strong.
I gave you my life, my love, and my heart,
and all you're doing is tearing them apart.
I gave you my world, my everything, pure and true-
and everything you do is ripping it in two.
Chipping away at my very soul...
But enough is enough, I won't allow you that
Control.
Chasing Fairytales
I thought you'd be my fairytale,
the one who knew my soul so well.
I thought you'd be the one I called mine,
a glorious love so beautifully divine.
I thought you'd be the mate to my soul,
the one who would heal it and make me whole.
I felt as though you knew me inside and out,
But now I see you don't even know what love is about.
I believed your intentions were true, although latent,
but your disdain for me is quite surprising, and so blatant.
I thought I saw forever in your eyes,
now I see there was nothing but shadows, and lies.
I'd always wanted a happy ending...
But as of late it seems my nightmares are blending
with reality.
I thought you'd be my happily ever after,
filling my life with unspeakable joy and laughter.
You were never what you claimed to be;
you just played on what I'd needed so desperately.
For you, the end was a no-fail,
While I'm left alone to chase fairytales.
the one who knew my soul so well.
I thought you'd be the one I called mine,
a glorious love so beautifully divine.
I thought you'd be the mate to my soul,
the one who would heal it and make me whole.
I felt as though you knew me inside and out,
But now I see you don't even know what love is about.
I believed your intentions were true, although latent,
but your disdain for me is quite surprising, and so blatant.
I thought I saw forever in your eyes,
now I see there was nothing but shadows, and lies.
I'd always wanted a happy ending...
But as of late it seems my nightmares are blending
with reality.
I thought you'd be my happily ever after,
filling my life with unspeakable joy and laughter.
You were never what you claimed to be;
you just played on what I'd needed so desperately.
For you, the end was a no-fail,
While I'm left alone to chase fairytales.
For Better or Worse
I grew up where you grew up,
the same way you grew up.
We hung with the same people,
but somehow you didn't make it out.
You seemed to revel in the life that wasn't really a life at all.
You had such big dreams in childhood…
What happened?
You were so bright and full of life-
But now the flat dull gleam in your eyes
seems to be ingrained in your very spirit.
You were once someone i looked up to.
But as of late, when i look at you,
my heart hurts.
Because i wonder
if maybe
it could have been me sitting there
unseeing and unsmiling;
Unaware of anything but what once was.
I wonder if maybe
it could've been me,
Trying hard to remember my purpose and why I’m here.
We used to have such good times…
But now the only time we have together
are moments that are lost in translation.
I don't know why
I keep doing this,
when the only one who cares anymore
is me.
But when you love someone,
You never give up hoping that they do better, get better, become better.
Because better is all we ever have to hold on to anymore.
the same way you grew up.
We hung with the same people,
but somehow you didn't make it out.
You seemed to revel in the life that wasn't really a life at all.
You had such big dreams in childhood…
What happened?
You were so bright and full of life-
But now the flat dull gleam in your eyes
seems to be ingrained in your very spirit.
You were once someone i looked up to.
But as of late, when i look at you,
my heart hurts.
Because i wonder
if maybe
it could have been me sitting there
unseeing and unsmiling;
Unaware of anything but what once was.
I wonder if maybe
it could've been me,
Trying hard to remember my purpose and why I’m here.
We used to have such good times…
But now the only time we have together
are moments that are lost in translation.
I don't know why
I keep doing this,
when the only one who cares anymore
is me.
But when you love someone,
You never give up hoping that they do better, get better, become better.
Because better is all we ever have to hold on to anymore.
Bits and Pieces (Over It)
You took a chunk from my life
and ran with it-
snatching the remaining pieces of my heart along the way;
keeping them as souvenirs of your "conquest."
You carved a hank from my soul
and used it to pillow
the lies you so artfully spun
with the silken threads of passion.
You left me as an unwanted trinket;
not quite broken, yet still not worth your time.
You drained the essence of my very spirit,
leaving behind gilt-edged shadows
of pain that ruminate quietly
around the blurred edges of my lethargic reality.
You stole the substance of my being-
rendering it helpless and unclean.
You took everything I had
and turned it into nothing;
Ashes that blow gently away with the wind
as the light of day dawns.
You're little more
than a speck on my horizon...
But the irrevocable impact you've had on my senses
and the irreparable damage you caused
rule my days and my nights
torturously,
and with an iron fist;
wreaking its vengeful and wrenching havoc
on my mind.
[Getting over you is almost as hard as being under your spell...]
and ran with it-
snatching the remaining pieces of my heart along the way;
keeping them as souvenirs of your "conquest."
You carved a hank from my soul
and used it to pillow
the lies you so artfully spun
with the silken threads of passion.
You left me as an unwanted trinket;
not quite broken, yet still not worth your time.
You drained the essence of my very spirit,
leaving behind gilt-edged shadows
of pain that ruminate quietly
around the blurred edges of my lethargic reality.
You stole the substance of my being-
rendering it helpless and unclean.
You took everything I had
and turned it into nothing;
Ashes that blow gently away with the wind
as the light of day dawns.
You're little more
than a speck on my horizon...
But the irrevocable impact you've had on my senses
and the irreparable damage you caused
rule my days and my nights
torturously,
and with an iron fist;
wreaking its vengeful and wrenching havoc
on my mind.
[Getting over you is almost as hard as being under your spell...]
Eggs and Spoons
My life teeters precariously
on the edge of reality-
like an egg on a spoon.
It's nothing but a balancing act-
and terra firma, although only a distance away,
is still too close for comfort;
yet not quite close enough.
I'm unsure of how to proceed,
the wrong step
could send me toppling to meet my failure,
the right step would keep me out of harm's way;
though only momentarily.
Standing still
only means that I'm not moving in reverse-
but nor am I moving forward.
Stuck in a catch 22,
the only way out is in...
But I don't know how to get there,
only how to stay afloat.
So I sleep with my eyes open,
and fantasize with them closed...
Dreaming of a better way
but coming up empty.
So, with nowhere else to go,
I leap,
taking flight, and hoping
that the winds of success pick me up
before I crash into the jagged rocky
crags of entrapment
that failure created.
on the edge of reality-
like an egg on a spoon.
It's nothing but a balancing act-
and terra firma, although only a distance away,
is still too close for comfort;
yet not quite close enough.
I'm unsure of how to proceed,
the wrong step
could send me toppling to meet my failure,
the right step would keep me out of harm's way;
though only momentarily.
Standing still
only means that I'm not moving in reverse-
but nor am I moving forward.
Stuck in a catch 22,
the only way out is in...
But I don't know how to get there,
only how to stay afloat.
So I sleep with my eyes open,
and fantasize with them closed...
Dreaming of a better way
but coming up empty.
So, with nowhere else to go,
I leap,
taking flight, and hoping
that the winds of success pick me up
before I crash into the jagged rocky
crags of entrapment
that failure created.
Catch 22
If I could catch 22 wishes
that would make my life 22 times better,
I think I'd be better off
chasing dreams.
If I could catch 22 stars
that would brighten my nights-
I'd never sleep, only wonder
how I got here, where I'm going, and if daylight is any closer.
If I could catch 22 dreams
that made sleep come easier,
I'd never appreciate my waking moments.
If I could catch 22 waves
that would mean smooth sailing,
then I'd never understand
the calm behind a storm.
If I could catch 22 clouds
to cushion my landing when I've missed my stars,
then I'd never want to fly...
If I could catch 22 raindrops
that would wash away the pain,
then I'd never appreciate rainbows.
If I could catch 22 sunbeams
that would make my days shine,
I'd never be able to enjoy the night sky.
If I could catch 22 fantasies
that would take me to oblivion,
then I'd never want to face reality.
And although living in a fantasy world
seems better than reality,
Living in a Catch 22
is utterly hopeless...
that would make my life 22 times better,
I think I'd be better off
chasing dreams.
If I could catch 22 stars
that would brighten my nights-
I'd never sleep, only wonder
how I got here, where I'm going, and if daylight is any closer.
If I could catch 22 dreams
that made sleep come easier,
I'd never appreciate my waking moments.
If I could catch 22 waves
that would mean smooth sailing,
then I'd never understand
the calm behind a storm.
If I could catch 22 clouds
to cushion my landing when I've missed my stars,
then I'd never want to fly...
If I could catch 22 raindrops
that would wash away the pain,
then I'd never appreciate rainbows.
If I could catch 22 sunbeams
that would make my days shine,
I'd never be able to enjoy the night sky.
If I could catch 22 fantasies
that would take me to oblivion,
then I'd never want to face reality.
And although living in a fantasy world
seems better than reality,
Living in a Catch 22
is utterly hopeless...
Long Live Life
We're all only living to die,
and dying to live...
So laugh more than you cry,
and take only what you give.
Life is too short
for woes and regrets-
So live it to the fullest,
because it's not over yet.
Don't while it away in sorrow and shame,
and don't spend it worrying
about borrow and blame.
everyone has their own unique story,
so write it memorably
and bask in its glory.
Keep your pride in check,
and stride purposefully on your trek.
No one will ever know
where this life will take them;
But as long as they're willing to go,
there's nothing that can break them.
Mean what you say, and say what you mean...
Make space in your day
for the memories made in between.
Take nothing for granted, because it's not guaranteed...
A life lived uncertainly
is a miserable one indeed...
and dying to live...
So laugh more than you cry,
and take only what you give.
Life is too short
for woes and regrets-
So live it to the fullest,
because it's not over yet.
Don't while it away in sorrow and shame,
and don't spend it worrying
about borrow and blame.
everyone has their own unique story,
so write it memorably
and bask in its glory.
Keep your pride in check,
and stride purposefully on your trek.
No one will ever know
where this life will take them;
But as long as they're willing to go,
there's nothing that can break them.
Mean what you say, and say what you mean...
Make space in your day
for the memories made in between.
Take nothing for granted, because it's not guaranteed...
A life lived uncertainly
is a miserable one indeed...
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