Emotion-Deaf

I once felt
that every word you spoke
touched my heart
in a way no one else ever could.
I once thought
that your touch
set my soul afire
in ways I never dreamed imaginable.
I once burned
with an inextinguishable passion
and an insatiable thirst
that nothing but your love could quench-
or so I thought...
I once thought that you were
the man of my dreams-
But now dreams come as
broken fragments of reality;
An inescapable nightmare
that haunts me constantly.
I had this crazy notion
that you made me see the world
as a newborn baby does for the first time:
through new eyes.
I now know that the words you spoke
held small daggers of poisonous lies
beneath the surface
that shredded my heart.
I now understand
that your touch
is that of a 4th degree burn;
there is no recoil,
and complete recovery is almost impossible.
I now feel that my passion for you
was nothing more than the lust
of my lackadaisical soul,
crying out for the passion
it so duly deserves.
I now realize
that my dreams
were nothing more than fanciful nightmares,
disguising themselves as whimsical notions 
that eased the pain of reality...
I know now that 
I couldn't see the world at all;
But the blinders have been ripped from my eyes,
and they're now full of tears...
All I wanted was to be loved,
but I couldn't see that
what was right in front of me
was not what lay ahead of me.
Blinded by pain,
numbed by heartbreak,
You were a breath of fresh air
to my tortured senses-
But I wish my heart had heeded its own warnings
before it was too late.
Unable to listen-
Choosing only to hear
what I wanted to,
I was emotionally deafened; spiritually bereft-
And, to my own chagrin, my heart's vacuity
cut me deeper
than the jagged pieces of your soul
ever had.