What If? (Waiting to Exist)

What if I'd never been born?
What if I'd never taken my first breath,
never poured out my lungs and screamed
for the first time?
Would the world have ever missed me, if I
was never here?
Would my mother and father ever have longed for me,
in their heart of hearts, the deepest wells of their soul?
What if they'd never fallen in love with each other?
What if they'd never crossed paths,
never taken the time out for love-
Would I even exist?
What if, in some nonparallel universe,
time hadn't stood still long enough
to weave the wonderful ribbons of love...
to intertwine those ribbons in the lives of two specific people?
If I'd never made it to fruition,
Would there have ever been a time, a place,
where I could have?

What if I never knew love?
Would I be the person I am now?
Would I be where I am now?
Or would I be lost,
lonely?
Would I know the people that I know?
Would I feel the things I feel?
Would I even have ever come this far in my life?
Would I still have the zeal, the zest, for life
that keeps me motivated?
What if no one had ever encouraged me?
Would I still feel as though
I could take the world by storm?
Would one small, seemingly insignificant person
make that much of a difference
if no one ever knew them?

What if my "what ifs" became a way of thinking, a way of life?
What happens when those "what ifs" turn to "Why?"
Who would have the answers?

Life is too short for what if,
for could've beens and possible outcomes.
Life is too precious to question
our existence, our purpose.
So instead of wondering, "What if?"
I will look forward, and face my future.
Instead of dreaming of nonexistent pasts,
and longing for different presents
under the tree that is life,
I will write my own presence,
create my own future.

But these questions will always remain:
Have I truly left my imprint, made my mark?
Have I really touched anyone, in such a way that
would spark their curiosity as to wonder
what could have been,
had I never
drawn a single breath on this Earth?